Welcome back! Here's a quick video of an overtired Hannah talking for some context before you start reading :) There was a lot to process this time around!
I love geckos.
They're silent, small, adorable, they eat bugs, and they decorate the flat vertical surfaces here like a built-in moving art installation. They even stop and acknowledge your presence if you move your head to glance at them. We had a book about geckos while I was growing up. I think it was called "The Goodnight Gecko". For some reason my memory of that book is particularly full of fond nostalgia. Maybe I just like the way gecko is spelled...who knows...but whatever it is, finally being among the geckos has not been a disappointment to my childhood idealization of this little lizard. It's fascinating to live in a world so globalized that I can grow up reading a story about a Hawaiian gecko and then later travel to Cambodia and have a strong sense of nostalgia in a place previously completely disconnected from me and my childhood.
Day 35
Today was hot. What else is new haha. I wore the one pair of shorts I brought today, the ones that make it so you can see all the bug bites and leg acne from how sweaty I always am. Lovely I know. At some point during the day we were downstairs doing a tour to show the other intern around as it was her first day at Tonle. I was standing in the front doorway. One of the ladies was sitting where she always sits, against the right hand door frame with her mat and her scissors and her fabric, working away at something. She always has a mischievous smile in her eye, and even though I don’t know the language, it's easy to tell that about 90% of her words are thickly coated in sass and a beautifully rich sense of humor. She doesn’t let the language barrier stop her from teasing our supervisor, or saying "souasday" to me in the morning.
I was standing there, right near her, and I suddenly heard a slight gasp.
Her eyes were wide and she pointed at my legs, particularly the spots where all the acne has decided to congregate. Looking back and forth between me and my legs with a concerned but also entertained look in her eye, she kept repeating two khmer words…I think they were something like “cheung moun”…I realized she might be concerned that I was getting bug bites so I tried to reassure her that it wasn’t from bugs…obviously to no avail. But the women started getting all excited and giggly and kept repeating the words as though trying to get us to understand. One lady said it slowly a few times for us to get the pronunciation, then she kind of looked at me quizzically as though trying to remember my name. I reminded her, and with a smile on her face put my name directly after the words they were teaching us – “cheung moun Hannah”. Our supervisor looked at me and said “oh my gosh did they give you a nick name??” The women all burst into laughter and kept saying it and it was pretty hilarious. So I guess I’m officially “bug bite Hannah” or something like that…Of all the terms I could be learning…this one is clearly going to be the most useful hahaha.
Disclaimer* As you may notice, avoiding single use plastic in this country is very difficult. It wounds me every time I use another straw or bag, and I do sometimes manage to use my own instead, but it doesn't always happen. I'm trying to have grace for myself as I navigate so much newness since sometimes participating in community means single use plastic!
Just some white bread and sweetened condensed milk sauce for a snack
Khmer Study Group on Sundays!
Tak Am Pov break (fresh sugar cane juice)
Chillin in a pool on a rooftop.
Tuk tuk rides :)
National Museum
Day 46
I am now over half way through the trip.
In my experience, the second half of anything always goes faster than the first…it's shocking how quickly it's going in the long term.
As you can see, I haven't been able to keep my hands out of the natural dye baths! In this photo I'm using my hands to stir fabric in a basin of hot turmeric water. Leaning over a bath of hot water in 40 degree weather really brings a new meaning to the word 'sweat'.
Sitting with the dye baths, watching the geckos run around is a very therapeutic process to me and I'm so glad it's part of this internship experience!
A dark corridor leading to living spaces of factory workers.
Meat for sale.
Cockroaches and some type of grub #streetfood
One of the many peace sign posers!
More factory worker homes.
Day 55
So I got the chance to go and visit the factory district in Phnom Penh recently.
It came up unexpectedly and I jumped on the chance. I met someone from Canada who is involved in a school that was established in the district for the children of the factory workers. They would otherwise be spending their days wandering the streets or stuck at home. We went to the school first and...
...I have never felt so special in my entire life.
The kids kept running up to me with more sparkles in their eyes and bigger smiles than I've ever seen on anyone. They said hello with a vast amount of satisfaction at being able to show off how well they know English to a Westerner. Practicing English was part of their excitement, but my skin was also of particular interest, as was my giant camera. I was a little nervous that bringing the camera would make me seem like a pretentious white person...and maybe it did...but for some reason I felt a strong compulsion to bring it anyway. I knew something would need to be documented. Not only was I right about that, but I was also shown again to an even greater extent, the power of connection that my camera has. Though I have learned to overcome my nature a little bit, my natural inclination is never to be the first to approach. I am an introvert (shocking I know) and so I often need a pretty good reason to initiate interaction. My camera gives me that. And it has been such a blessing in so many ways. As the children excitedly said hello I also noticed the wonder and timid interest in their eyes when they saw my camera. Little side glances from every direction started to make me wonder if bringing it had been a good idea...but then I started taking photos. Something I've learned,
Cambodians apparently like getting their photo taken.
If you point your lens toward a busy street you'll get at least two people instantly making a peace sign with their fingers and smiling at you. It's quite hilarious. These kids were even more enthusiastic about it. At one point two young boys at the school were in front of me and started smiling and giggling and acting like they were posing. I pulled out my camera and started clicking and suddenly a swarm of about 10 kids filled the frame, all smiling and making silly faces and peace signs. I can't post the photos here for safety reasons but if you ever want a private photo viewing from my trip when I return home I would be happy to show you in that context, and tell you lots more about the school itself :). Honestly that moment was one of the most beautiful moments of connection my camera has ever given me. It was so special and filled me with so much joy. And because the act of taking a photo was the very reason the moment happened, it is now recorded forever as digital pixels arranged into one of my favorite photos of all time.
As we approached the factories I noticed within myself a desire for extremes.
I wanted it to be a drastic experience. I wanted the evil nature of the fast fashion industry to be clearly laid out and the solution to it all to be explicitly labelled. I found myself feeling like a reporter looking only for the things that confirmed my hypothesis. Being aware of this helped me snap out of it I think. And it was probably a good thing I did, because my hypothesis proved to be off.
I knew this experience would change me, I just wasn't sure how. Turns out the change was primarily an increase in confusion and humility. Confusion because I'm now not sure how to even begin going about a solution...humility because I got a small glimpse of just how much bigger this whole issue is than my small western perspective. Sure there are likely black and white examples out their somewhere...
...but this was nuanced.
I learned that the people at these factories are happy to take these jobs despite the miserable living conditions and cruel treatment. It guarantees them an income, unlike working out in the provinces, and it guarantees them the ability to chase the flashy western lifestyle. I learned that legislation demanding higher wages doesn't really help because it just means that food and housing prices also go up, and hours are cut so that the factories don't have to pay them as much. Plus, factories frequently shut down without a moments notice when they can't find any buyers because they can no longer manufacture as cheaply as factories in other countries. This greatly disrupts the lives of the workers, throwing them into insecurity and vulnerability as they search for new employment. Sometimes the factories leave without even paying the workers their final compensation.
I learned that the workers themselves participate in buying the fast fashion they help to create. After working in less than ideal conditions all day, paying rent and sending money home for the month, the only thing that seems worthwhile to do with the leftover time and money is to put on lipstick and go to where the food is cheap and the air is conditioned. The mall. A sweet, momentary reprieve from the harsh realities of the rest of life.
I learned that the national genocide that happened recently left the young people without mentors to teach them how to manage their money well.
Fast fashion is just a symptom of the real problem here.
And putting our plastic band-aids on it really isn't going to help. None of our plastic is going to help.
So now what? You may be wondering. I asked the leader of that school what she thought the answer to that question was. What the solution is now. She used to work in the factories. Her story is amazing. (I can tell more, and even show you a video in person if you ever want to hear). Her answer, after thinking about it for a moment, was simple.
People's hearts need to change.
That is the only way any of this could ever be better. The systemic brokenness will not change unless the system is changed, and the system won't change unless the people change.
So...now I gotta figure out what that means for me and my path.
So long for now.
Thank you!